For this week’s creative retreat, I am making use of one of my go-to facilitation tools: a bank of magical check-in questions, perfect for deepening connection and trust at the start of an event, class or gathering.
I’ve been collecting these questions for a while now, and, when I find a good one, I add them to my index card deck.
So often in gatherings, people introduce themselves by their name (useful), and their job title or role, which is often less useful as it can sometimes get in the way of genuine connection. But behind each job title or role, there is a whole world of a person: likes, dislikes, experiences, stories, humour, wisdom. When we have questions which get into the workings of a person, they open up doorways to connection and understanding.
I’ve used my bank of questions in university classrooms, with a group of lawyers and policy makers, with young activists and around my dinner table. The questions are great levellers. No matter the role or position in an organisation, the question elicits surprise. Some of the questions I include are whimsical, some about career path and choices, some about random acts of kindness or travels tales, and some which get into the realm of values, preferences, dreams or wishes. Every single time I ask them with a group, there are laughs, unusual stories and things people share about themselves which others in the room did not know.
Here’s how it goes:
1. If using the desk at an in-person event, I ask each person to write their name on a piece of paper, pop it in a hat, and then I randomly select a name. If using it online, I use a random selector tool, like wheel of names, to select whose turn it will be. The random element maintains a sense of anticipation, keeping everyone alert. (This is particularly great when working online and you are trying to encourage cameras to be on).
2. I then shuffle the deck, and ask a person to tell me when to stop. The top card I land on is their one question. It comes with one caveat. If they really really do not want to answer that question, they have one pass. This freedom is important in building trust and safety in the room. The participant still feels like they have an element of control or choice in their response.
3. Depending on the size of the group, I tell them they have 1-2 minutes to respond. The short timeframe helps. For those that are reluctant, they know they only have to talk for a minute, and for those that tend to ramble, the timeframe can be a nudge to let them know when their time is up.
So, this week, I randomly picked some cards for you — they also make for some great journalling prompts. You have three choices! You can pick one, or journal about all three. Your call.
Question One:
(What would you do if you had a fully paid year long break from work?)
Question Two:
(Have you ever been helped by a strange? What happened?
Question Three:
(What is a gift or talent of yours you are proud of?)
Taking it further…
If you want to take this creative retreat further, try making your own bank on cards. All you need is a deck of index cards and a pen! Think of questions which will elicit responses, which everyone in the room has an interest in knowing the answer. The writer and facilitator Priya Parker has a great name for this: ‘a magical question’. As she explains it:
A question is good for a group when it’s both interesting to each person to answer and each person would be curious to hear everyone else’s response.
What questions would you ask?
Use the comments below. Maybe we’ll get our own little bank of magical questions going.
Enjoy!
Coming up on The Wild Edge
Next Tuesday, I will be releasing Part Two of ‘The Non-Definitive Guide to Staying Sane (Online) in an Age of Overwhelm. It’s all about working with guiding principles to help choose how best to direct your attention and focus, online and offline.
Part One is here:
The month’s Wild Edge Writing Sanctuary is this Sunday 9th March, 6-7pm Irish UK Time. This is an hour of guided journaling, and reflection. For paid members.
And on March 21st, 7-8.30pm Irish/Uk time I will we have the special Spring Equinox Seasonal Salon: an evening of poetry, journaling and seasonal ritual. Tickets included in Wild Edge Gold/ Founding Membership, or available to purchase.
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